eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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