matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
