did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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