I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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