What did we do last night that was yellow?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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