my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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