my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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