Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
