Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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