You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
