You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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