I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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