So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
