Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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