wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You can't motorboat a personality
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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