do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
