I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
