Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
