Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
