I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
