im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
