I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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