I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
