The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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