I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
