you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
