So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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