and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
