how hairy? two words: wookie tits
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
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Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
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This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs