I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's rum buckets o'clock
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today