farters have to be the big spoon...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?