I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.