eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.