Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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