i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
