it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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