He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
