Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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