So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
