I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
