I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
