I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
