I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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