Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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