Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
