My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
