she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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