Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
