We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
