I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
