I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
