he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Randomize
