Whod you bang
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
