I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
