1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
a search helicopter?!
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize