That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
