i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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