I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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