Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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