just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
