i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Success! We fucked roommates!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
