I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My vagina is very pro this idea
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
