very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
